putting it off.

So, David and I talked shortly about having a baby and we came to agree to disagree. I told him that it was a deal breaker and he told me that we don't need to have a baby if I don't pick up after my self. My thought to that is that I had given up so much. He and my x- friend Christy ruined my wedding, the wedding I moved back two times for his daughter who didn't even bother to show up, and then Daivd let Cristy touch  his butt and then the both of them lied about it, I never have gottem a honey moon, no dates ect and now he wants me to give up having a baby. NOPE sorry thats a deal breaker for me and I told him that we need to do something. I think it will be best for us to end this marriage because there is not use to hold each other back from living and moving on with our life. I want a family he does not. I also told him that if God's promise is not fullfillled by this Sep then am going to be talking to the doctors about other ways to have a baby and I have a friend who is willing to go half in with me, in other words donate his swimmers.
He really wants kids without the drama of a wife as he says. So I think we can help each other it's sad that I wont be having a baby with my husband well at that point he wont be my husband but it's sad we have to end this marriage on and around kids but I think it's worth it. I truly desire a baby and am not giving that up alone with every other thing I have asked David for that has been put on the back burner. Iam tired of been told no not yet, wait, hold on in other words put on the back burner like am just a girl friend.
Well, am not really that sad because wether it be with David or with someone else God did make a promise and He does know the desires of my heart and he still a man of his word so am still in good faith with out my husbands support. and that os ok with me it is what it is. Madison and Morgan am not sure who your dad is going to be but just know that I love you and Jesus loves you thats all that matters.

Even Still

Yes, faith is something am still holding on to for my twin girls. It was cute we went out to eat with the Lunkins and I was teasing Kayle about been our girls Church Nanny and am sure she would not mind at all. Besides we have a whole group of youth that will love to help. SO at church we have a lot of support and if things go to Gods plan and I get prego in Sep I will have the girls in June so am off two months with them, even if I don’t get prego in Sep but find out am prego in Sep like for example if am prego now as we speak even though I cant almost swear that am not but IF big if I am I would have them in April and then be off work for 6 weeks summer would start after I get off of leave so I will be home so that’s why am really praying and having faith that this season will be the one I get prego in. I can’t wait to make God’s name known about this. Man it’s going to be a miracle because how man I can’t explain in words really. Like when I find out in Sep am going to be over joyed like I know that he can do it, I believe that he will do it, but the thought of him proving him self that he is a man of his word, and that he truly did speak through Alexis is almost to much to handle like what do you say. Like this is nothing but faith really it is and there is no way around. When I share this with people they can’t talk me into believing it was David and I and God had nothing to do with it, they can’t make me believe that this was just timing that God really didn’t speak through her, They can’t EVER tell me God is not a man of his word cause am going to have proof. I know the prayer I prayed, I know what I was told God told her to tell me, I know the scripture and now I have two girls growing inside me, You Explain the reason behind it, can you really find a reason out side of God. I didn’t take any meds. No doctors made my eggs change NOTHING but faith so God is the reason and I can’t wait to make his name known, Am going to tell everyone just like we suppose to be sharing his name now. Everyone in the doc office is going to know it’s God, everyone at work is going to know it’s God, you know how people can’t help but touch a woman's belly everyone asking to touch is going to get the story. Can I touch your belly? Sure, it’s a miracle I got prego with lots of faith. Yes sex with my husband but I have been having sex with him without faith for four years and a year with faith here we are and with twins that’s what I prayed for. People will ask and I will tell them:

Psalms 7:4 “…And He shall give you the desires of your heart”.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrew 11:1).

Father, I come to you with my heart of faith about Madison and Morgan, I know that you are a Man of your word and I know your power to make all things happen you are the only who that can give life and I thank you and praise you for our twins and my heart is over Joyed. If you decided not to honor Sep giving me twins please PLEASE keep my faith, attitude in check let me not stop believing cause am sure you will have a reason not to bless me with Twins and I thank you but you did promise me its in your will for me to have more babies so please be a man of your word on that, am just asking for Twins cause your word said you will give us the desires of our heart and you know my heart, so thank you, I love you...Also Lord, please give Rev.Hicks strength Lord and let us all be blessed this convention let your spirit fall on all the Youth and I really lift up Davinte Lord please touch his body, mind and Soul Lord please. Father God touch his heart Lord Break him father break him down, In Jesus name.

Others understanding

Father God am not understanding why when I speak of the teens some people who know you and have them self trusted and had great faith in you for something great act like am speaking out my head when I speak about the twins as if they are already? You said speak things into sight pre say. and with believers I have and am getting a block from them Lord I have to say it makes me said and I know its trick from the devil to try and get me to stop having faith in you but I can't so that you said your self you are a man that can not lie, could never sin and have never sinned so with that been said and a fact I have to have faith in when you said all I need is the size of a Mustard seed and Psalms 7:4 "………And He shall give you the desires of your heart". To me there is no way around that but to have faith in it because I believe in you, I trust that you love me, there for know me very well even before I was in my mothers womb, I have seen you work in others life, even this week with Tisha, I have seen you work in my life with Gene's Mother, So all in all I know you desire to give me the desires of my heart and my hearts desires are to get prego in July find out in Sep with Twin girls Madison and Morgan and they are born very healthy even if they have to come early let them be miracles and come back home with me to our home house Sunset Trail the same day I leave the hospital. In Jesus name amen.
 Madison and Morgan I can't wait to meet you

7-7-2011

So, David and I made love today and I know this may sound crazy to must but when you trulyy believe in God this is some of the things you do. As we made love I prayed and cover my womb, David sperm, my tubes, my eggs, the two Embryo's Madison and Morgan. prayed over every action it takes for my twins to get in my belly ASAP. I prayed and covered the travel the girls have to take. I prayed that my One egg is release but splits in two, for my sweet Identical twins. Yes, I enjoyed being with David did you know it's even better if you cover even the act of having sex with your spouse in the blood of Jesus? Yea, it is, it's so sweet and when the Doctor tells me am pregnate I can look back through my faith and prayer and say I got this way by the blood of Jesus and his word is soild. He is trully a man of his word.

Hebrew 11:1: My Faith

In the Bible Hebrew 11:1 it says, ...Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see: Now reading that am holding on tight to God's word, God says he is truth and the word his truth so with that, ok Jesus told us He was the truth. John 14:6-7, Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. KJV  Jesus is the truth.  Jesus is the living Word of God. What Jesus has told us is the truth. If he is the word and the word is truth then what I read in the Bible is TRUTH right? ok, so with that fact in Line Jesus you said to me that if I have faith as a Mustard Seed, ok so my faith is so much greater than that and am trusting that you sent that young lady after I asked you to take the thought away or give me a word from you and you sent me a word meaning that it's in your will for me to have another baby and the word you sent was Sep not sure if thats this Sep but I hope so and I am also leaning on the scripture you said in Psalms 7:4 "………And He shall give you the desires of your heart" and Lord, my desires in my heart well you know my heart and my feeling but let me tell you what they are. My desire concerning having more babies is to get prego in July and find out in Aug and Tell everyone in Sep. My desire is to get prego with Madison and Morgan healthy baby Identical twin girls. let them be a blessing to everyone they meet. Let them live. Father my desire is this. Please allow this to come to pass, you said you are a man of your word and am counting on that to be the truth that you say you are. You said you are truth please stand farm to your word. I love you and believe this is truly going to happen.So in advance I want to say thank you.