In the was to the doctor today I prayed and talked to Jesus. As I was driving I can feel him in the passanger seat and I just talked to him. Jesus, Please if you can give me just a window of Hope. I don't want to leave the doctor feeling defeated once again. I'm tired of walking out the office crying as if all my hope, desires and body is in his hands. He has the last say so. I am not my own but I don't want to belong to the doctor but to you Jesus. I prayed and asked Jesus to go before me and be the doctor eyes, ears and mind. I made it to the office and am lost within my feelings. As I waited for the doctor to come in I was reading Song of Solaman. Then in comes the doctor he starts in with you have many fiboriods, so you are 33 and have 1 child and want another one right? I say yes and he with no emotinons says ok and shows me, you have so many fiboriods inside and out and I have to go in and remove them with my hand. I was going to start crying my instead a peace came over me and in my head I was like so YOU say. ok so YOU say. I mean Jesus was there and he will have the last say so. I left the office with such peace. God made me a promise and it is his bussiness how he is going to make it happen. If they have to take out my utruis that means God is a man that Lies and in my heart I don't believe for one min that he truly can lie. I believe he means what he say and he is a man that CAN NOT lie, will NOT lie and shall NEVER lie. So with my peace I left feeling my true doctor is Jesus Christ. Surgery will be Dec 15, 2011 and it is what it is. I pray that it's God doing the surgery and that he will guild the doctors hands and in all that his will be done. Am not leaning to my own understanding but on Jesus.
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