So if you have been following me on this road you know some of my struggles. Well they have only gotten worse. However, I am still leaning on God's promise. I know I know you people must think am a fool for still waiting on God but you have to know thats all I can count on and trust. It's hard but God is who I trust in. I know am sure I can go to the doctor and do this and that but my babies I want to be blessed. Yes, all babies come from God but I feel God is telling me to wait on him and here I am. Waiting.
Let me catch you up on why am feeling left out. I have been praying and asking God what ever you are doing don't do it without me. I asked him if he is in baby blessing mood, dont do it without me and well I just feel like he has blessed and sis it with out me. Everyone I do mean everyone that I work with that has been seeking and desiring a baby is prego. One lady is prego with , yep you guessed it TWINS. Yes, thats what I have been desiring and he blessed someone else with them. I try my hardest to be happy for her because I am and I like her and in my heart am happy for her but my heart also feel betrated by God. How can I keep trusting in someone who makes me feel left out? well because he has blessed my life in so many other ways and he is a on time God and knows how much we can handle. I want twins but what I want more out of having twins is to bless someone with this story of mind so I know this walk , this journey is not going to be cake but I didn't know it was going to be this painful.
I have hit yet another wall. Went to the doctor and he said I have multiple fibeorode however you spell it. Im sad and crushed. God must think am strong than I see my self because I feel like I can't take any more bad news or another month of having a period and negative test. I want to hear from God, I want to fel his very touch and I hope that he will just give me a half of once that there is hope in me having another baby. I want him to give me a once of hearing from in related to having a child but I want to know it's right from God and not because someone told me he said this or that.
Lord,
My heart is sad, I feel like you have left me out in your blessing. you know my heart better than anyone. I want to trust you and have faith in you that your going to bless me with a baby but things look grey and I want to see the end through your eyes and not my own. I want to know your truth Lord. Help, me make your name known and your will be done but Lord can you please make this Journey a little easier. I have no fight left in me. I want to be happy for my co-workers and I am. but it's getting really hard. Help me Lord. I love you and trully need a huge dose of new Faith. Thank you.
Let me catch you up on why am feeling left out. I have been praying and asking God what ever you are doing don't do it without me. I asked him if he is in baby blessing mood, dont do it without me and well I just feel like he has blessed and sis it with out me. Everyone I do mean everyone that I work with that has been seeking and desiring a baby is prego. One lady is prego with , yep you guessed it TWINS. Yes, thats what I have been desiring and he blessed someone else with them. I try my hardest to be happy for her because I am and I like her and in my heart am happy for her but my heart also feel betrated by God. How can I keep trusting in someone who makes me feel left out? well because he has blessed my life in so many other ways and he is a on time God and knows how much we can handle. I want twins but what I want more out of having twins is to bless someone with this story of mind so I know this walk , this journey is not going to be cake but I didn't know it was going to be this painful.
I have hit yet another wall. Went to the doctor and he said I have multiple fibeorode however you spell it. Im sad and crushed. God must think am strong than I see my self because I feel like I can't take any more bad news or another month of having a period and negative test. I want to hear from God, I want to fel his very touch and I hope that he will just give me a half of once that there is hope in me having another baby. I want him to give me a once of hearing from in related to having a child but I want to know it's right from God and not because someone told me he said this or that.
Lord,
My heart is sad, I feel like you have left me out in your blessing. you know my heart better than anyone. I want to trust you and have faith in you that your going to bless me with a baby but things look grey and I want to see the end through your eyes and not my own. I want to know your truth Lord. Help, me make your name known and your will be done but Lord can you please make this Journey a little easier. I have no fight left in me. I want to be happy for my co-workers and I am. but it's getting really hard. Help me Lord. I love you and trully need a huge dose of new Faith. Thank you.
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